Healing shame in the body: remembering your worth after “i’m not enough”
After healing the burnout and over-giving that so many of us carry, there is typically something quieter lurking in the shadows, not wanting to be seen… shame.
The belief that no matter how much we give, how kind we are, or how much we grow, it will never be enough. This is the layer where healing becomes remembering, where we begin to see ourselves through the lens of love instead of judgement.
Shame is one of the quietest emotions we carry. It doesn’t rush to be seen, it hides behind the moments we overthink, overexplain, or try too hard to get it “right.”
I meet it often in my work with clients, and I’ve met it deeply within myself.
When shame lives within the body, the nervous system replays old tapes, echoes of childhood voices, workplaces even relationships that once made us feel unseen or unworthy. It tells us we don’t deserve boundaries, that charging for our gifts is selfish, that being fully visible isn’t safe. But these pattterns are not truth - they are protection. They body has learned to hide under symptoms to survive and keep us safe.
BUT, shame is not the enemy, it’s a part of us that still believes that love must be earned. When we meet it with compassion, they body remembers - love was never something we had to prove.
where shame lives in the body
Shame doens’t just live in our thoughts it lives in the cells in our bodeis. Every time we shrink, silence ourselves, or feel unseen, our body remembers. Through years of working with clients and diving deep into the energetics of emotions (and my own aha moments in myself) I’ve come to feel and understand the patterns of where shame hides and how it may be speaking through your body and your thoughts.
Sacrum / Sacral chakra: the birthplace of shame. Where we hide creativity, sensuality, belonging.
It can show up as pelvic tension, fatigue, or resistance to being visible. “I am bad”Solar plexus: shame about personal power. The gut tightens when we doubt ourselves, overextend or feel unworthy of success. It’s where people often feel nausea, heaviness and adrenal fatigue. “I am not enough”
Heart: where shame hides beneath the ache of being unseen, unheard and underappreciated. It feels like weight in the chest or shoulders that are collapsing inward. A sense of closing off from love with the quiet belief that we are unworthy of being cared for just the way we are. “I don’t deserve love.”
Throat: where shame silences our own truth. Where people feel lumps, tightness in the throat and even fatigue (thryoid) especially when they held back what needed to be said. It’s tied to the fear of judgement, fear of being misunderstood, and people-pleasing to keep the peace. “my voice is not worthy”
Third Eye: where shame clouds our vision. When we internalize self-doubt or perfectionism. We lose connection with our intuition and start overanalyzing instead of trusting. It can feel like foggy thinking, pressure and headaches. “I’m not wise enough”
Root & Legs: ancestral or past-life shame. People who can’t move forward, always second-guessing, feeling heavy in the hips or knees. This is the sense of being stuck no matter how much inner work we do. “I’m unsafe”
My clients often arrive carrying a combination of these: digestive issues, shoulder tension, looping thoughts.
When shame starts to release, the breath deepens and the chest opens. There’s often a hand on the heart. Sometimes tears, sometimes laughter, sometimes the body shakes as energy leaves through the crown or the feet. I know the shift has happened when I yawn, burp, or cry right along with them, my body speaking the same language of release and no two releases look or feel the same…
And then, a weight lifts. Their chest expands.
They finally exhale and without words what I can feel “It’s safe to be me.”
where shame begins
Shame doesn’t start in adulthood. It begins the first time we feel that love or approval might be taken away. For many of us, that began in childhood being told to be good, to stay quiet, to not make things uncomfortable.
Every correction or criticism left an imprint in the nervous system: If I express too much, I’ll lose connection.
Over time, that fear of disconnection became the pattern of hiding for safety.
Later, it shows up in subtle ways holding back our truth, under-charging for our work, apologizing for our needs, or shrinking when we’re praised. Shame keeps us small not because we’re weak, but because the body learned that safety came from invisibility.
Some of it isn’t even ours. I’ve felt ancestral shame in the legs of clients whose grandmothers were silenced, whose families learned that being seen was dangerous. That kind of shame feels ancient it’s heavy, protective, and loyal to the lineage. It tells the body, Stay still. Stay quiet. Survive.
But the body also remembers freedom. Every time we choose truth over silence, that old pattern loosens. The nervous system learns that safety can come from being real, not from hiding.
Shame can stay hidden for years, woven into habits that look like productivity, kindness, or strength.
I didn’t realize how much of mine was still running the show until I caught myself chasing healing itself, searching for what was wrong instead of remembering what was already right.
the day i stopped searching for what was wrong with me
For years, I thought I’d healed my shame. I’d done the work, the sessions, the journaling. But every few months, fatigue would wash over me like a tide I couldn’t fight.
I’d think, Something must still be wrong with me.
That was the lie shame kept me chasing. Always searching for what was broken instead of realizing that I was already whole.
The truth landed one day as simply as breath. I am amazing just because I exist. No certificate, no client result, no apology needed.
And from that realization, my entire energy shifted. My creativity came back. My prices aligned. Boundaries stopped feeling like walls and started feeling like love.
how i guide clients through shame – the alignment codes
Once I understood that I wasn’t broken, I started to see that healing wasn’t about fixing it was about flow. Energy wants to move. And when emotion is met with presence instead of judgment, it naturally finds its way back to balance.
That’s what led me to create the Alignment Codes a unique framework that mirrors how energy moves through the body when we allow healing instead of forcing it, in a way that is easy to remember. Each element—Fire, Air, Water, Earth, and Heart, represents a phase of emotional alchemy, guiding us from awareness to embodiment, from reaction to restoration.
Fire: First we acknowledge what’s really there, where the true triggers of shame actually are. Under the frustration, under the burnout, under the urge to fix everyone else. Sometimes it shows up as autoimmune flare-ups, exhaustion, or numbness. Fire is the undeniable alert to look at what is going on because the body has spoken!
Air: Then we neutralize the emotions to see what is really going on. What is under the frustration? Where did you first learn you weren’t enough? Childhood? A past relationship? A workplace? Air brings awareness and with awareness often neutralization.
Water: Now we make space for movement and flow. What gets to change in the physical world with your new awareness? What would honoring your worth look like? Maybe it’s raising your rates, leaving a draining job, or simply speaking your truth.
Earth: Here we practice embodiment, because it’s time to make the mind-heart connection, and sometimes that is easily said but not easily done. This is where new boundaries, new habits and repeating small acts of self-respect until they feel natural and grounded come in. Shame doesn’t dissolve in one ceremony; it softens each time we choose integrity over avoidance.
Heart: Finally, we fill the space with love. Shame cannot survive where love resides. This is where the hand goes to the chest, the breath steadies, and the soul remembers: I am worthy just because I am.
Healing shame isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you already are underneath the protection, the proving, and the perfectionism.
When we honor the wisdom of the body and meet every emotion with compassion, shame no longer has to run the show love does.
what healing shame feels like
When shame releases, it doesn’t explode, waves of relief come with gentle exhales.
Clients often describe a bubbling, tingling energy moving through the body, especially through the legs and feet as if something heavy is finally draining out.
The breath deepens, the shoulders soften, and the mind quiets enough to feel what’s real again.
Creativity begins to stir not as performance, but as play. They feel drawn to color, to dance, to sing, to reconnect with the parts of themselves that once felt too silly or unworthy to be seen, loved and cherished. It’s the inner child remembering that expression is safe again.
On my end, I feel it too the yawns, the burps, the tears, the deep grounding through my feet. The energy moves, and love naturally fills the space it once occupied.
Shame is a veil, not an identity. Once it lifts, you remember who you’ve always been: whole, innocent, and enough.
Integrating What Remains
After a release, there’s often stillness not the kind that demands meaning, but the kind that lets the body recalibrate. It’s a quiet knowing that something has shifted, even if the mind can’t name it yet. This is where integration begins.
Healing shame isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about weaving it back into wholeness. Each layer that once made us hide becomes the very proof of our strength.
The nervous system learns that it’s safe to expand.
The heart learns that it’s safe to receive.
And the body learns that it can trust itself again.
This is the true work of emotional alchemy not bypassing what hurts, but bringing love to the places that once felt unworthy of it. Because when we meet every part of ourselves with compassion, we stop trying to prove our worth and we start living from it.
the invitation
Healing shame is deep work. It’s the difference between thinking you’re free and actually feeling free… between knowing you’re worthy in your mind and embodying it in your bones
That’s why I guide clients through it in 1:1 Energy Healing Sessions—where we can meet your body’s specific stories—and also through Alignment Codes, a sacred framework that helps you begin processing shame safely at your own pace.
Shame may have taught you to stay small.
Your body is ready to remember its size, its worth, and its light.